As I prepare to make the call
to Customer Service,
I take a deep breath and remind myself
that losing my temper solves nothing.
I patiently listen to the series of choices
which we technology-weary consumers
have learned is called a “menu,”
and obediently make my selection,
thinking that now I will be connected
to the proper department.
“Please enter your account number now.”
“Please enter your telephone number now.”
Once again, I obey.
“Please enter your zip code now.”
Like a soldier, I obey.
This is really clever, I remember thinking
the first time it happened.
Now, when I finally get to speak
to a real live human being,
she’ll already have all that information.
the recording informs me,
“you are being transferred to a
Customer Service Representative.”
I have passed the test,
run the gauntlet,
filled all requirements.
I am rewarded
with their most treasured resource,
the resource so precious,
they didn’t want her to waste her valuable time
asking me for routine information
a computer could handle.
And don’t you know,
the first thing she asks me for
is my account number,
my telephone number,
and my zip code.
Do not bother to protest.
I can tell you from experience.